You are your child’s first teacher.

We need to be instilling the “right mindset” even if we don’t have all of the “right information”.

Start instilling the right mindset by watching what you say and possibly changing what you say.

These are 4 things that you should never say to your children about money…

1. That’s None of Your Business.

Why do we hide our finances from our children? We need to be open with them.

Talk to your kids about money

If they are asking, that means they want to learn. So why not take it as an opportunity to teach them?

What You Should Say:

Let them know what they want to know.

Show them your budget and your bill payments. Make sure they are old enough to understand, since every child is different, but if it will benefit them, show them how it works.

Show them in a way that doesn’t scare them if you are having financial problems, but you can at least let them learn from your mistakes.

Don’t act like you are a whiz at finances if you aren’t, but obviously you are trying (and improving!) or you wouldn’t be reading this.

More on this: Money, Marriage and Children – Communicating for Your Financial Health.

2. We Can’t Afford That.

When your kids are asking for “everything in the store”, what do you tell them? Some will tell them yes to everything, some will say no to everything. Then there are the parents that like to say “we can’t afford that”…to everything!

We can't afford that

It’s like saying “we can’t afford that” makes them feel better than just saying no. It’s a justification.

This is not something your children should ever here you say. Talk about making them feel insecure.

Not to mention the fact that you probably can afford it.

What You Should Say:

Explain the real reason. It all comes down to being honest with our children.

What’s the real reason? They don’t take care of the things you buy for them? It’s more than your budget allows for? Tell them anything other than “we can’t afford that”.

More on this: Is This Sentence Ruining Your Finances?

3. What are We Going to Do?

Statements like this can really instill insecurity in your children. Be cautious about having “adult conversation” in front of them. Your financial worries should be your own worries.

What are we going to do about our finances

Even if you are in serious financial trouble, your children should know that everything is going to be okay.

What You Should Say:

Nothing. Leave the adult conversation with the adults. There is no reason to say anything about your financial heartaches, unless your child is old enough to understand and learn from them.

If you think it will create insecurity and fear in your child, don’t say anything!

4. You Can’t or You Will Never __________.

Never tell your child that they are limited in any way.

Financial traits are not genetic. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that they are.

Happy children

Many of the richest people in the world were born into poverty. Just because you have had money problems doesn’t mean your children will have the same problems.

What You Should Say:

When your children have big ideas, encourage them.

I wonder how many more entrepreneurs there would be in the world if more parents encouraged their children’s ideas.

Always tell them that they “can”. It really is true: you can do anything you set your mind to, but you can affect whether or not your children set their mind to do anything.

Final Words

The bottom line is that we need to instill a positive mindset in our children.

We don’t need to be the ones responsible for limiting their thinking.

Some of the things on this list go against being normal, especially telling your kids about your finances, but do you really want to be normal?

Normal means being in debt. Normal means average.

You are better than average and so are your children. Start living like it.

Photo Credit: David Robert Bliwas, Susan Sermoneta, Giuseppe Savo, More Good Foundation, Ben Millett