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The rich keep getting richer, and the poor keep getting poorer. Right?
You’ve heard that a thousand times. It’s not fair, is it? Some people just can’t get a break.
Well, that may be true, but it’s not that simple.
So why are some people rich and others poor? Why do some poor become rich, while some families stay poor for generations?
The Means to Make it Work
Here’s the cold, hard truth: money rarely solves money problems. Why? Because money isn’t the problem. Money is almost never the problem.
I understand that people are in poverty for plenty of reasons. The last thing I want to do is make broad generalizations.
That being said, people who stay in poverty often stay there for one main reason, and it’s just not their means. Sure, they may not have the means to pay off all their debt. They may not have the means to invest monthly…but their means are not the problem.
What happens to most lottery winners? What happens to many professional athletes after they retire?
They go broke…or close to it. Sports Illustrated reported a study that showed:
- 60% of NBA players are broke within 5 years of leaving the game
- 78% of NFL players go broke eventually after leaving the game
Why? There have been numerous studies to figure out why, but here is the gist of what those studies reveal:
- In all of the training camps, weight lifting sessions and strategy videos, the players are taught all about the game, and taught nothing about how to handle the money they earn from the game.
- Professional athletes feel like they have to live up to a certain high standard. Once they leave the game and stop earning the money, that same lifestyle cannot continue to go on.
Going back to the lottery winners who go broke…what happens there? It’s simple:
No matter how much money you win, inherit or earn, if you don’t change your mindset and properly handle the money, the money will leave you. It could be months, years or even decades, but eventually the money will run out, if you don’t change your mindset.
The Mindset to Make it Work
But what about the broken homes, the heartaches and the emergencies that arise and either keep people in poverty or send them into poverty? All of that happens, and it can’t be ignored…however…there is an important lesson here:
Any time you use your situation as an excuse, you’re shooting yourself in the foot. It may be the greatest excuse in the world, and it may be legitimate, but it’s only hurting you.
Excuses don’t change your life, they keep you living the same life you were living. They just make you feel like it’s OK to live that way.
The majority of the Forbes 400 list of the richest people in the world are self-made. Many of them came from poverty stricken homes and became billionaires. How does this happen? Mindset.
The first change must be in your mindset. Even after a severely difficult financial disaster, you must make sure your mindset is where it needs to be. Countless people come back from the worst disasters to completely rebuild their life and often become millionaires (or better). This would be a great place to insert a motivational quote like “if they can do it, you can do it too!”, but I won’t do that to you…oh wait, I guess I already did…
What Does it Mean to Change Your Mindset?
It’s easy to tell someone to change their mindset. Change your mindset and you can change your life, right? I think so, but that doesn’t explain how to change your mindset, or what to change it to.
I’m going to get really practical here. Here is exactly what I mean when I say “change your mindset”:
- Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Stop negative self-talk and negative talk in general. It helps no one. It only helps you feel sorry for yourself. Don’t like your situation? Change it. But stop being negative.
- Stop using your situation as a crutch. I get it. Something very bad happened to you. That’s called life. Life happened to you. Bad things happen to everyone, all the time. The important thing is what we do with those things. It’s commonly said “are you letting your situation make you bitter or better?” There is only one letter difference, but which one you choose can change everything. Don’t focus on the “I”, focus on becoming better.
- Stop thinking you can’t do something that others can do. If someone else did it, you can do it. Stop limiting yourself to the life your living now. You are capable of earning more, living a better life and helping more people. But first, you have to actually believe that.
If you catch yourself thinking about why you can’t do something, instead of how you can do something, you’re falling into the trap.
Great article for a Monday! Set the record straight about what is in our control and what we can do about it. Thanks!
…and, as always, thank you for reading, Ashley! 🙂
I’m a little concerned. I do appreciate that you acknowledge that being poor may not be something that’s under your control. But then you kind of say the exact opposite of that.
I guess I know what you mean: Mindset is key to getting ahead. But comparing poor people to middle class and rich people is really not the right way to go. Yes, lottery winners often go broke. But that’s not the same as the poor staying broke.
Lottery winners and the middle/upper classes often have opportunities poor people don’t. I’d think it’s awfully hard to focus in school if you haven’t had enough to eat, which is a real ongoing problem for something like one in every four kids. And if you can’t do well in school, you’ll have a tough time getting into college to get a degree that helps you avoid minimum wage jobs.
I will fully admit that some poor people have terrible mindsets that don’t help their situation and/or will tank them if they do get access to money. But you’re discounting a lot by implying, if not outright saying, that everyone has the means to get better.
Some people have to spend all of their time and energy just trying to get by. Not through lack of will, but because they have to work two jobs to keep a roof over their heads and food in their/their kids’ bellies.
You’re assuming that everyone has the time for and access to education, and that’s simply not true. Even if there is a school on a bus route or a short distance from their house, people may not have the money for bus fare or the gas to drive there. I’ve heard of people putting $1-2 of gas in their car because it was literally all they could afford before payday.
So due to a lack of access to education, they can’t get better jobs — assuming there are any to be had. And if you don’t have a credit card to move out of an area without jobs or to a place that has more than convenience stores/bodegas, you’ll continue to be without options. You’ll be stuck in low-paying jobs and pay more for groceries.
Sorry, if this seems like a rant. It isn’t meant to be one. But as someone with a disability, the flippant “life happens” statement just doesn’t cut it. If you’re born with/acquire an expensive health condition, you may not get ahead. Not just because of work missed, but because the bills suck up any spare money… and then some.
I know a couple who had to declare bankruptcy because their daughter needed surgery, and their insurance barely made a dent in the bill. My husband needs meds that aren’t covered by insurance and cost up to $700 a month. Not to mention the $25k we’ll soon be spending on his dental implants — which was preceded by the $12k oral surgery/dentures around 8 years ago. That was necessary because he had to take so many steroids over the years for his conditions that his teeth started crumbling in high school. Speaking of which, if you can’t afford a good dentist, your teeth situation may keep you from getting a decent job.
We’re only in the situation we’re in because I got very, very lucky. My mom met someone who was looking for a person who needed to work from home. And I happened to get an excellent education, which, again, not everyone has access to.
Without that bit of luck finding a job, I’d still be on disability, and my husband and I would be figuring out how to get by on $1,600 a month. Not because we were stupid, unmotivated or bad with money. Because, according to you, “life happens.”
For the record, I really have enjoyed all of the posts I’ve read so far on this blog. I guess maybe that’s why this one was so startling.
Don’t apologize! You’re obviously passionate about what you said, and I seriously respect you for saying all of that, and for sharing it with me! 🙂 I know I have a very straight-forward and to-the-point writing style, and that can come off as offensive. This isn’t the first time I’ve offended someone due to my writing style. For example, saying “life happens” DOES seem harsh. I am not discounting any serious issue, such as everything that has happened in your life (I follow your blog, so I know it’s not within your control). I get that issues come up and people aren’t always in control of their own situation, but as a writer you know, articles like this ARE generalizations. Every article is to some extent. They have to be. We can’t write to everyone in every article. That’s the nature of writing unfortunately. I didn’t want to spend 500 words explaining how I understand if someone has a severe situation that has impacted their fiancé, though I do understand that.
My entire point is this, regardless of what has happened, is happening or does happen, don’t use your situation as a crutch. Acknowledging that you’re impacted because of something like this is understandable, but when people use it as a crutch, they financially cripple themselves. I know you don’t and that’s why this article was definitely not directed towards you. I know many people, family and friends, who are/where in a terrible situation that’s out of their control. In fact, my dad, before he passed away, was devastated financially, and what he told me before he passed away is part of the reason I talk about this subject. He told me that as his bills and health problems piled up, he started to use them as an excuse to stay where he was, which ultimately meant he passed away with nothing. He said that he could have held a better outlook and probably overcame his situation. Some of the people I know who were in some of the worst financial situations are now ahead of me, because their situation fueled them to either get passionate, angry or both, and completely get out of their medical debt or other debt (one of them with medical debts close to $1 million is now debt-free!).
The main thing I learned from my dad and others is that excuses simply don’t help. And that’s my main passion here. Explaining how terrible a situation is doesn’t make the situation any better. Anytime we start explain our situation, we automatically get out of the mindset of changing it. Even if it’s not possible to change it (and I believe any situation is possible to change, from what I’ve seen), explaining it does us no good. Even if we aren’t even talking about money, it all comes down to mindset. Our happiness in general is a mindset.
I grew up dirt poor. The first thing I did when I moved out of the house was go into tens of thousands of dollars in debt. I understand overcoming life and I also understand when it feels like you can’t overcome life. I’m still overcoming some aspects, but I don’t talk about those parts of my life much, because I don’t want to give them any credit and fuel to grow bigger.
I posted your article on my blog today! Full credit to you of course! Thanks for sharing your talent and information! Light and Love, Shona
Thanks Shona! I appreciate that! 🙂